A Friendship First

From the day Josh called out my name and stopped me in my tracks, we were like magnets! We were drawn to each other with a force that neither of us has ever felt. It was magical! It was beautiful! It was crazy! I was still trying to figure out some things in my life and was not ready to commit to another romantic relationship (partly because I was on again off again with my ex every Friday night!). But I could not take my eyes off Josh. We became the best of friends. Every where we went people would tell us how cute we looked together. Then I would always say, "Oh, we are just friends." People would look at me with a look in their eye that let me know they were thinking, "Who are you trying to fool?" I took it all in but made sure to maintain my presence of control. We really did have a beautiful friendship. I had never felt anything like it. He was the only person I had ever been truly honest with. I mean it, not one lie! We promised each other to always be honest no matter how painful. It is truly an awesome thing to have a relationship with not even one lie!!

Before I knew it though, I had fallen in love. My sense of control over my mind was lost. I knew that somehow I had to fix the mess that was my life so that I start a new life with Josh. What a journey that was! But that will be for another entry perhaps. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Six months later we were married. It was the most peaceful, beautiful, holy day of my life. I knew that God had brought us together for His purpose. I knew that I would always be in the arms of my best friend, who loves me with a Christ kind of love...

The Man of My Dreams

As I sit here reflecting back on how it all began, I can't help but feel a smile creeping up my face. So many happy thoughts flood my mind. Instantly, I see those sparkling blue eyes fixed above that million dollar smile. He did not know me, and yet I felt as if we had always known each other. You know, like before there was time, there was me and there was him, and we were together waiting on the world to start. That is how I knew. It might not be right then or even 6 months later, but the love had begun and we would be together again.

Josh and I met at the apartments I was living in during college. He was in a band, and they had come to play for a social gathering I had helped coordinate for the residents. I was going through a difficult time in my life in almost every area. I had stepped on the back porch of the clubhouse to get some fresh air and wallow in my self pity. He came walking up with guitar in hand. I saw him right away and could not stop staring at his face. It was if there was a little angel flying above him every where he went holding a spot light that illuminated only him. My first thought was, "Wow, he is gorgeous!" My second thought was, "He would never be interested in me."

Well, it was not long before we began talking that night and learned that we were both English Majors at UNCC. He told me his upcoming Summer class schedule, which I logged word for word in my mind. He invited me to a party at his house that night. I said I would come if I could get some friends to go with me. A few hours later, I showed up at his house with two of my friends. We quickly realized that we were the only girls there. Later I found out that he had not planned to have a party that night but just cam up with an excuse to see me again. He always has been pretty clever!

Well, the night came to an end and he had not asked me for my phone number, so I left thinking that he was not interested or that he had found my friend more interesting! Weeks passed and nothing happened. I woke up one night from a dream where I was talking with the guy that I had been engaged to and dated all through college. In my dream Josh was standing over our shoulders just smiling at me with such a peace on his face. I had the dream many times, as if he were telling me from across the miles, "We will be together, don't worry." The dreams began to bother me because I had started dating my fiance again and I did not want to be dreaming about some other guy I had only met once. So, I did what any logical female would do, I arranged my summer class schedule to have a class with Josh so that I could see if he remembered me.

On the first day of class, I walked in to the classroom and took a seat. I really enjoyed the professor and was engaged in conversation with him. I noticed out of the corner of my eye when Josh walked in to the room. He had long curly brown hair that seemed to say, "I don't even have to try to look this good." I knew that he did not see me when he came in. He took a seat behind me and to the right a little. The class began and I ended up speaking out on a topic. I suddenly could feel Josh looking at me, and I knew that he was trying to figure out where he knew that voice from. I suddenly began to realize that I was flirting with danger! I had a boyfriend, I had changed my class just to be with this stranger, and now I had drawn attention to myself! All I could think of was bolting for the door as soon as the class was over. I just wanted to get out of there and not speak to anyone!

As soon as the class was over I bolted! I was half way to the parking deck when I suddenly heard someone yell out, "Ashley!" I knew in my heart who it was. In that moment I knew I had a decision to make. I knew that it was a huge decision! I knew that if I kept walking I would never look back. But, I also knew that if I stopped and turned around, my life would change forever. I couldn't help it. I stopped and turned around. There he was, sparkling blue eyes fixed above that million dollar smile. Something in my heart broke, chains fell away. He set me free in an instant. There I stood, ready to take a chance. Ready to meet with the man of my dreams...